Why Divorce? That’s the question I began asking myself in 2005 when I had the first inkling that I wasn’t happy in my then 10-year-old marriage. I pushed the thought aside to focus on my kids who were 6 and 10 at the time.

In the years since, I have talked with dozens of friends, colleagues, and acquaintances about their marriages —asking those who were unhappily married what it was that enabled them to file for divorce, and what kept them from it. And those who were happily married, I wanted to know their secrets, too.

Those conversations led me to want to create this book trilogy:

• Why Divorce: 5 Reasons to Leave
• Why Marry: 5 Reasons to Say Yes
• Why Remarry: 5 Reasons to Do It Again

Packed with case studies based on interviews with women and men who have been through these experiences, we are thankful to all those willing to share their stories to help others work their way through the process. The books will also include guidance from experts. In Why Divorce,you’ll gain guidance from divorce attorneys, mediators, financial planners, marriage counselors, child therapists, and others who will offer tactical and heartfelt assistance to help readers answer the question.

Why Divorce: The 5 Reasons to Leave

Because leaving your loved one and breaking up a family is one of the hardest and most stressful things an adult can do, there must be compelling reasons to make this choice, right? Here are the five situations that have caused many to make the decision.

• The 3 As — Adultery, Addiction, Abuse. If your partner is mentally, physically, and / or emotionally harming you — that is no way to live a happy, healthy life. These situations are painful in so many ways, and while it’s still difficult to leave, it’s a clearer path to the door.
• The fourth reason, Angst, is a muddier dilemma. In this instance, your partner is struggling with something intense — be it depression, anxiety, or another emotional or perhaps physical challenge — and either won’t deal with it, and / or is taking the drama of the struggle out on you. While not quite as emotionally belittling or physically dangerous as being abused, it’s a sticky situation because you know that leaving your partner could make their emotional state worse. But you are feeling miserable, and want to end that pain.
• The fifth reason, I’m setting a terrible example for my kids, is perhaps the toughest — or maybe the easiest — reason to leave. Why? Because you know the marriage isn’t right and yet your partner isn’t doing anything horribly egregious. It’s just that at the depths of your soul you know you aren’t with the person that you want to be with for the rest of your life. By staying, are you setting the right example for your children? Maybe. Maybe not.

Why write “Why Divorce?” I am not a therapist. I am not a counselor. I am not an attorney, financial planner, or medical doctor. I am a journalist who is not judging anyone’s decision to divorce or stay married. But as I have traveled through my 50+ years, I have talked with a remarkable amount of women and men who have struggled with this painful decision —my parents included. My plan for this book is simply to tell the tales of those who have worked their way through the process, embraced the reason, and shared their stories as case studies to help others to know they are not alone.

What qualifies me to embark on this journey? As a reporter since graduating from the University of Pennsylvania in 1996, my mission has been to find and tell meaningful stories that help and touch people in a profound way. I’ve shared some of these stories, especially my own accounts of love, loss, and growth, on my journalism website, Powered-By-Hope.com.That approach has also fueled my public relations and publishing firm, InkandescentPR.com,since I launched it in 2008. In my first book, PR Rules: The Playbook, I offered 200-pages of ideas and interactive exercises to help small business owners build more successful businesses using PR, marketing, advertising, social media and sales. My hope is that Why Divorce will be a resource and a guide to help thousands make your way through the decision-making process, so they can consciously, heartfully, and lovingly do what’s right for themselves and their family.

“Educated people don’t stay in unhappy marriages,” says Dr. Helen Fisher, author of “Why Him? Why Her? and the Chemistry.com questionnaire. When I heard her speak about her book, and subsequently interviewed her in 2006 for my business magazine, my thoughts began crystalizing about my decision to leave. Still, I struggled with this for the next eight years. My husband is a wonderful man — a talented artist who is kind, gentle, dependable, and a great father. Those qualities are the ones that made me want to marry him when we met in 1991. But over the years, it became clear to me that his artistic angst didn’t line up with my gypsy spirit. I wanted to travel the world and let my wings spread. I knew I could stay with him until death do us part — but I wasn’t happy, no matter how hard I tried. Worse, I was getting increasingly cranky and was showing up the opposite of the wife, parent, much less the person, I wanted to be. But here’s the rub: Leaving him made me the bad guy in the situation, and that wasn’t who I wanted to be. Could I handle the blowback, or the guilt? Eventually, I realized that I had no choice.

Life After Divorce: 108 First Dates — and one perfect lover. Crazy as it seems, six months after leaving my husband I found myself curious about re-coupling, and ended up going on 108 first dates. Really. Part experiment and partly because it took that long to find anyone I wanted to have a relationship, I spent the next 18 months figuring out if there would be another man who would fit just right. Click here to find out how it played out.

Why did you divorce? If any of these reasons resonate with you, and you’d like to be interviewed for my book, fill out the questionnaire below and email it to hope@hopegibbs.com.My team will contact you with additional questions once we review your submission. We will also be conducting podcast interviews to post on Inkandescent Radio,, and video interviews for our YouTube channel, Inkandescent.TV.. So when you share your responses with us, please let us know if you are game to participate in additional interviews.

Learn more: www.WhyDivorce.us / email Hope / phone us at 703-346-6975

Thank you so much for spending your time and sharing your personal story! There’s no way around the fact that leaving your loved one (no matter how much you want to) is one of the most difficult decisions and experiences of your life. I thank you for your thoughtful responses, openness, and willingness to share your experience about your divorce with me — and the world. Love, Hope